They finally released their newest video! Well, the first video without farro's brother.
I love this song so much! Oh yeah, I love all of paramore's songs hahaaaa.
You were my conscience
so solid now you're like water
We started drowning
not like we'd sink any further
But I let my heart go
it's somewhere down at the bottom
But I'll get a new one.
come back for the hope that you've stolen
I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours
I'm only human
I've got a skeleton in me
But I'm not the villain
despite what you're always preaching
Call me a traitor
I'm just collecting your victims
They're getting stronger,
I hear them calling
I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours
Well you found us strength and solutions but I liked the tension
And not always knowing the answers when you're gonna lose it, you're gonna lose it.
I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours
I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours
Sabtu, 23 Juli 2011
Rabu, 20 Juli 2011
Another sweet thing
I was blogwalking and I found something that, I can say it's like, catch my heart, so I would like to post it here. I found it on kak winny's blog (you really need to check her site, and I bet you won't be regret! She's a good blogger)
boy: i saw her today.
girl: i saw him today.
boy: it seems like it's been forever.
girl: i wonder if he still cares.
boy: she looks better than ever.
girl: i couldn't stop staring at him.
boy: i asked how things are going.
girl: i asked about his new girlfriend.
boy: i'd pick her over any girl i'm with.
girl: he's probably really happy right now.
boy: i can't even look at her without crying.
girl: he couldn't even look at me.
boy: i told her i miss her.
girl: he didn't mean it.
boy: i meant it.
girl: he doesn't mean it.
boy: i love her.
girl: he loves his new girlfriend.
boy: i held her for the last time.
girl: he gave me a friendly hug.
boy: then i went home and cried.
girl: then i went home and cried.
boy: i lost her.
girl: i still love him.
boy: i saw her today.
girl: i saw him today.
boy: it seems like it's been forever.
girl: i wonder if he still cares.
boy: she looks better than ever.
girl: i couldn't stop staring at him.
boy: i asked how things are going.
girl: i asked about his new girlfriend.
boy: i'd pick her over any girl i'm with.
girl: he's probably really happy right now.
boy: i can't even look at her without crying.
girl: he couldn't even look at me.
boy: i told her i miss her.
girl: he didn't mean it.
boy: i meant it.
girl: he doesn't mean it.
boy: i love her.
girl: he loves his new girlfriend.
boy: i held her for the last time.
girl: he gave me a friendly hug.
boy: then i went home and cried.
girl: then i went home and cried.
boy: i lost her.
girl: i still love him.
Sabtu, 16 Juli 2011
I currently sitting on the corner of my room. I feel like, none of words can describe what I exactly feel right now. I'm a mess. I lost my direction. I have nothing to do. I lost my passion of everything. I am....numb.
Hidupku berubah drastis sejak kurang lebih 2 bulan lalu. Sejak kejadian itu, aku masih ingat, Jum'at malam tanggal 29 April...the most terrible thing that ever happened in my life so far. Hal yang aku yakin tidak pernah diinginkan oleh siapapun. Hal yang bahkan tidak pernah terbesit dalam benakku. Mimpi buruk, ungkapan itu mungkin sangat pas, atau lebih tepatnya, mimpi buruk yang tidak berujung. Sedih? Tentu saja. Jika saja kalian tau, aku merasa seperti hidupku telah berakhir sejak kejadian itu. Hancur, semuanya hancur dalam sekejap. Hatiku pedih, pedih sekali.
Hari-hari pertama menjalani kehidupan baru rasanya seperti dicabik-cabik, aku merasa seperti, God really I can't stand for any longer. Kenyataan bahwa mereka kini tidak bersama lagi seperti sebuah samurai yang membelah tubuhku jadi dua. Lalu siapa yang bisa aku salahkan? Tidak ada. Aku merasa seperi tidak punya tujuan, hidupku kosong, tak bermakna sama sekali. Hari-hari berikutnya semakin berat. Aku mulai merasa hidupku seperti keteteran. Menangis menjadi kegiatan rutinku tiap malam. Tak ada yang tahu, tak ada yang menyadari, hanya aku sendiri. Hal ini membuatku tambah sakit. Beruntung aku masih memiliki orang-orang yang mengerti akan keadaanku, walaupun mereka tak akan tahu bagaimana rasanya yang sebenarnya. Dan hari terus ku lanjutkan dengan deraian tangis...
Hingga kini, sudah 2 bulan berlalu, tidak ada yang berubah. Jujur saja, jika aku masih memiliki harapan sekecil apapun, aku akan bersedia hidup bergantung pada harapan itu. Tapi nampaknya harapan itu terlalu kecil sampai-sampai mereka tidak melihatnya. Kekuatanku perlahan terkikis. Meski tak selemah hari-hari pertama, namun rasa sakitnya tetap terasa dan tak berkurang sedikitpun. Kadang aku bertanya, Tuhan, apa maksud di belakang ini semua? Dosa besar apa yang telah aku buat? Adilkah ini untukku? Aku benar-benar tidak mengerti. Aku merasa tidak kuat lagi, tapi toh aku masih tetap disini, saat ini.
Rasa iri sering sekali menggerogotiku saat aku melihat orang-orang bercanda tawa dengan keluarga mereka, rasanya sudah lama sekali sejak terakhir kali aku melakukan itu. Ah, rindu sekali rasanya. Rindu yang menyiksa dan menyakitkan. Kapan aku terlepas dari semua ini? Aku seakan berada dalam tekanan yang tak kunjung reda. Lelah rasanya, tapi tak ada yang dapat aku lakukan selain menguatkan diri dan bertahan. Aku tidak mau memperlengkap kehancuran hidupku dengan keanehan-keanehan yang tak sewajarnya dilakukan. Setidaknya, aku masih memiliki masa depan bukan?
Karena kejadian ini, dengan sangat terpaksa aku harus merombak kembali masa depan yang telah aku rancang. Bukannya ingin melanggar takdir Tuhan, tapi semua orang pasti memimpikan masa depan yang nyaris sempurna bukan? Sama sepertiku. Bedanya, jalan menuju masa depanku kini lebih sulit dan banyak terdapat batu terjal yang harus aku lalui. Tapi bukankah semakin sulit jalan yang kamu tempuh maka semakin besar hasil yang akan kamu peroleh? semoga saja teori itu benar. Mungkin sekarang ini aku bukan siapa-siapa, tapi suatu hari nanti, aku akan menjadi orang yang berharga untuk orang lain. Aku tidak perlu mengucapkan tekad dan janjiku dengan suara lantang di depan semua orang. Aku hanya perlu mengucapkannya di dalam hati dengan penuh ketulusan, maka Tuhan akan mendengarnya dengan jelas. Dan suatu hari nanti, kalian hanya perlu melihatku bersama pembuktian dari janjiku tersebut.
Saat ini hingga hari-hari kedepan, aku hanya bisa berdoa kepada Tuhan yang pasti akan mendengar permohonan setiap hambanya. Tuhan, jika mereka bisa tetap bersama, maka tolong berilah jalan sehingga bisa dilewati untuk mencapai sebuah kebahagiaan yang lebih dari sebelumnya. Tapi jika memang perpisahan adalah jalan yang terbaik bagiMu, maka pisahkanlah secara baik-baik tanpa ada setitik masalahpun yang tersisa. Berilah kami kekuatan agar kami dapat dengan ikhlas menjalani semua kehendakMu. Berikanlah selalu kami jalan terbaik dalam setiap langkah yang kami tempuh. Jangan pernah tinggalkan kami...
Hidupku berubah drastis sejak kurang lebih 2 bulan lalu. Sejak kejadian itu, aku masih ingat, Jum'at malam tanggal 29 April...the most terrible thing that ever happened in my life so far. Hal yang aku yakin tidak pernah diinginkan oleh siapapun. Hal yang bahkan tidak pernah terbesit dalam benakku. Mimpi buruk, ungkapan itu mungkin sangat pas, atau lebih tepatnya, mimpi buruk yang tidak berujung. Sedih? Tentu saja. Jika saja kalian tau, aku merasa seperti hidupku telah berakhir sejak kejadian itu. Hancur, semuanya hancur dalam sekejap. Hatiku pedih, pedih sekali.
Hari-hari pertama menjalani kehidupan baru rasanya seperti dicabik-cabik, aku merasa seperti, God really I can't stand for any longer. Kenyataan bahwa mereka kini tidak bersama lagi seperti sebuah samurai yang membelah tubuhku jadi dua. Lalu siapa yang bisa aku salahkan? Tidak ada. Aku merasa seperi tidak punya tujuan, hidupku kosong, tak bermakna sama sekali. Hari-hari berikutnya semakin berat. Aku mulai merasa hidupku seperti keteteran. Menangis menjadi kegiatan rutinku tiap malam. Tak ada yang tahu, tak ada yang menyadari, hanya aku sendiri. Hal ini membuatku tambah sakit. Beruntung aku masih memiliki orang-orang yang mengerti akan keadaanku, walaupun mereka tak akan tahu bagaimana rasanya yang sebenarnya. Dan hari terus ku lanjutkan dengan deraian tangis...
Hingga kini, sudah 2 bulan berlalu, tidak ada yang berubah. Jujur saja, jika aku masih memiliki harapan sekecil apapun, aku akan bersedia hidup bergantung pada harapan itu. Tapi nampaknya harapan itu terlalu kecil sampai-sampai mereka tidak melihatnya. Kekuatanku perlahan terkikis. Meski tak selemah hari-hari pertama, namun rasa sakitnya tetap terasa dan tak berkurang sedikitpun. Kadang aku bertanya, Tuhan, apa maksud di belakang ini semua? Dosa besar apa yang telah aku buat? Adilkah ini untukku? Aku benar-benar tidak mengerti. Aku merasa tidak kuat lagi, tapi toh aku masih tetap disini, saat ini.
Rasa iri sering sekali menggerogotiku saat aku melihat orang-orang bercanda tawa dengan keluarga mereka, rasanya sudah lama sekali sejak terakhir kali aku melakukan itu. Ah, rindu sekali rasanya. Rindu yang menyiksa dan menyakitkan. Kapan aku terlepas dari semua ini? Aku seakan berada dalam tekanan yang tak kunjung reda. Lelah rasanya, tapi tak ada yang dapat aku lakukan selain menguatkan diri dan bertahan. Aku tidak mau memperlengkap kehancuran hidupku dengan keanehan-keanehan yang tak sewajarnya dilakukan. Setidaknya, aku masih memiliki masa depan bukan?
Karena kejadian ini, dengan sangat terpaksa aku harus merombak kembali masa depan yang telah aku rancang. Bukannya ingin melanggar takdir Tuhan, tapi semua orang pasti memimpikan masa depan yang nyaris sempurna bukan? Sama sepertiku. Bedanya, jalan menuju masa depanku kini lebih sulit dan banyak terdapat batu terjal yang harus aku lalui. Tapi bukankah semakin sulit jalan yang kamu tempuh maka semakin besar hasil yang akan kamu peroleh? semoga saja teori itu benar. Mungkin sekarang ini aku bukan siapa-siapa, tapi suatu hari nanti, aku akan menjadi orang yang berharga untuk orang lain. Aku tidak perlu mengucapkan tekad dan janjiku dengan suara lantang di depan semua orang. Aku hanya perlu mengucapkannya di dalam hati dengan penuh ketulusan, maka Tuhan akan mendengarnya dengan jelas. Dan suatu hari nanti, kalian hanya perlu melihatku bersama pembuktian dari janjiku tersebut.
Saat ini hingga hari-hari kedepan, aku hanya bisa berdoa kepada Tuhan yang pasti akan mendengar permohonan setiap hambanya. Tuhan, jika mereka bisa tetap bersama, maka tolong berilah jalan sehingga bisa dilewati untuk mencapai sebuah kebahagiaan yang lebih dari sebelumnya. Tapi jika memang perpisahan adalah jalan yang terbaik bagiMu, maka pisahkanlah secara baik-baik tanpa ada setitik masalahpun yang tersisa. Berilah kami kekuatan agar kami dapat dengan ikhlas menjalani semua kehendakMu. Berikanlah selalu kami jalan terbaik dalam setiap langkah yang kami tempuh. Jangan pernah tinggalkan kami...
Senin, 11 Juli 2011
It has begun
So today is my first day of being senior high school student. I'm no more wearing the white-blue uniform, finally! It has changed onto white-grey uniform, and it feels like... Oh my God, is it real? I honestly still can't believe that. I'm now older! :')
so you guys maybe wondering how my first day was, right? But wait, it's not the real first day actually, because I have entered the school since last monday for MOS (I told you on the previous post). Why I called this as the first? Because today is the first day I'm wearing the white-grey uniform and today also the first day I started to study as usual. And it was nice. Yeah, nice. I mean, I still kinda confused with the new atmosphere and everything was new for me. Start from the environment, the people, the lesson, the system and.. yeah everything. And for your info, my school is using the class moving system, so I and my classmates have no our own class. It makes me kinda insane seriously._. Ok I thinks it's just about adaptation, I'm sure that every new student feel the same as me. Sooner or later I will get used. I hope.
And the other thing that I want to tell you is.... my new class! I got X SBI 4 class and my classmates named it BEEJOUVIER. Honestly, I don't know who made that name._. I just agreed it because it sounded cool, isn't it? hahahaha. All I know is, bee is come from our class loggo, jou is jappanese that means 10, and vier is germany that means 4, aaand walla! it became BEEJOUVIER :D Why we choose bee as our loggo? Ok, so You all must know bees right? When a group of bees was in a nest and if one among a group of bees was disturbed, then surely the others will join and help the bee's anger against the perpetrators who disrupt the bee. So do us :)
It's been only a week since we met each other but I feel like we're like a family already. They're so nice and I love them :') it seems like the days until next year will run well with them, hopefully.
I realized that I'm not in a long holiday anymore. No more late-wake-up, no more sleep in the middle of the night and no more laziness. All I'm gonna do is fighting to get straight A's score and enter the scince class. So... Bismillahirrohmanirrohim o:)
P.S : I miss my old classmates so bad D':
so you guys maybe wondering how my first day was, right? But wait, it's not the real first day actually, because I have entered the school since last monday for MOS (I told you on the previous post). Why I called this as the first? Because today is the first day I'm wearing the white-grey uniform and today also the first day I started to study as usual. And it was nice. Yeah, nice. I mean, I still kinda confused with the new atmosphere and everything was new for me. Start from the environment, the people, the lesson, the system and.. yeah everything. And for your info, my school is using the class moving system, so I and my classmates have no our own class. It makes me kinda insane seriously._. Ok I thinks it's just about adaptation, I'm sure that every new student feel the same as me. Sooner or later I will get used. I hope.
And the other thing that I want to tell you is.... my new class! I got X SBI 4 class and my classmates named it BEEJOUVIER. Honestly, I don't know who made that name._. I just agreed it because it sounded cool, isn't it? hahahaha. All I know is, bee is come from our class loggo, jou is jappanese that means 10, and vier is germany that means 4, aaand walla! it became BEEJOUVIER :D Why we choose bee as our loggo? Ok, so You all must know bees right? When a group of bees was in a nest and if one among a group of bees was disturbed, then surely the others will join and help the bee's anger against the perpetrators who disrupt the bee. So do us :)
It's been only a week since we met each other but I feel like we're like a family already. They're so nice and I love them :') it seems like the days until next year will run well with them, hopefully.
I realized that I'm not in a long holiday anymore. No more late-wake-up, no more sleep in the middle of the night and no more laziness. All I'm gonna do is fighting to get straight A's score and enter the scince class. So... Bismillahirrohmanirrohim o:)
P.S : I miss my old classmates so bad D':
Minggu, 10 Juli 2011
Back from long hibernation
Soooooo I've been missing this blog so much :'D so many things happened since I didn't post anything for about a month. I told you that I'd be out of town to spend my holiday, and guess where it was?............. Surabaya hehehe :3
I was there for about two weeks, and I finally came back on 27th of June. I swear, I had a tons of fun! Ok, you probably sick watching me talk like blah blah blah here so I'll show you some photos of mine while I was there hehehe ;)
guess what? I went to XXI for 4 times in two weeks hahahaha. Firts I watched beastly, then source code, iron clad, and the last was insidious. :3
My beloved uncle, I call him deyayak. I should say a lot of thanks to him because he accompannied me while I was in Surabaya. Thanks deyayak :D
My twin little sister hahaha. Look, how cute she is :3
Oh, and I also went to Malang to meet my partner in crime, Neyna! I can't hardly believe that we could finally met each other! Yeah, since we just talking through ym and twitter. So sad we just had one day :'(
It will always there's another time, right? So see you soon then :*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
maybe some of you wondering why do I so late to post about this, and now I'll tell you. About a week ago my grandma or I call her yangti, has just passed away:'( you know I still can't believe till now... Rest in piece yangti, I love you :'(
the other reason is because I just had what Indonesian people called MOS (Masa Orientasi Siswa) and it was really wasting my whole time. I even couldn't able to sleep for 3 days._. but over those all, the MOS was really fun and unforgottable! Thanks for kakak-kakak panmos SMANSA 2011 for the hard work :') and now I'm officialy a student of SMAN 1 MATARAM!
I was there for about two weeks, and I finally came back on 27th of June. I swear, I had a tons of fun! Ok, you probably sick watching me talk like blah blah blah here so I'll show you some photos of mine while I was there hehehe ;)
guess what? I went to XXI for 4 times in two weeks hahahaha. Firts I watched beastly, then source code, iron clad, and the last was insidious. :3
My beloved uncle, I call him deyayak. I should say a lot of thanks to him because he accompannied me while I was in Surabaya. Thanks deyayak :D
My twin little sister hahaha. Look, how cute she is :3
Oh, and I also went to Malang to meet my partner in crime, Neyna! I can't hardly believe that we could finally met each other! Yeah, since we just talking through ym and twitter. So sad we just had one day :'(
It will always there's another time, right? So see you soon then :*-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
maybe some of you wondering why do I so late to post about this, and now I'll tell you. About a week ago my grandma or I call her yangti, has just passed away:'( you know I still can't believe till now... Rest in piece yangti, I love you :'(
the other reason is because I just had what Indonesian people called MOS (Masa Orientasi Siswa) and it was really wasting my whole time. I even couldn't able to sleep for 3 days._. but over those all, the MOS was really fun and unforgottable! Thanks for kakak-kakak panmos SMANSA 2011 for the hard work :') and now I'm officialy a student of SMAN 1 MATARAM!
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